SELF - 5 Mistakes Holding Women Back From Power

Before you ask – we’re not going to spend the next few paragraphs blaming men for our failures and our constant fear of defeat. Because truth is, everyone is responsible for their own actions - or at least, that’s how a powerful and intelligent woman sees the world.

Though it is easier to blame it on your boss’ favorite employee, or on your belief that your friends just don’t get you any more, have you genuinely and objectively reviewed your behaviours? How did your actions create those reactions?

Being powerful means acting it. But before acting and listing your justifications about why you have been doing what you’re doing, check if you are making a fatal mistake.

1. Being Apologetic

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There’s a difference between being polite and degrading yourself. Being overly apologetic isn’t really a sign of being polite and sorry, but showing a sign of weakness and no accountability for your actions. Everyone makes mistakes. Apologizing for every little misunderstanding or issues caused by external factors, such as missing a meeting due to unavailability of cabs in that rainy weather, isn’t going to help you come across any better. In fact, showing strength and determination and acknowledging unfortunate events in a confident manner shows that you are responsible for your decisions and their consequences. Have you seen a Girlboss in a sweat, gulping and saying “Omg I’m so sorry!”? The answer is no!

2. Trying To Be Perfect 

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No one is perfect, whether it is us, our favorite Instagram influencers or that person at work we envy so much – so in real world, who are we kidding with this belief? Striving for perfection is not going to get you anywhere, but will only result in a tired, unbearable version of you. However, working to the best of your ability, showing initiative and moving out of your comfort zone and beyond your boundaries will. Accepting your mistakes, and pushing yourself to do better will create a great impression without trying too hard to be perfect. Maybe your future business plan has a few flaws? No one expects you to get it right first time! Trying to be perfect is like trying to be someone else, so where is the merit? 

3. Letting Men Take Responsibility

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We tend to see men as father, brother and husband figures that we naturally think of as protectors representing power. However, associating only men with power is the worst belief. Women are just as powerful as men, and vice versa. It is just supplied and used differently for everyone. You are responsible of making the best use of your best sides that prove your confidence and power in what you are doing. Just look around, pick a few people you think are powerful and define one reason why you see them so - some due to their irresistible charisma, some due to their unbeatable knowledge, some due to their incredible self-confidence, some due to the remarkable trust they gain from people around them. None of your “idols” are powerful because of their gender. While defending feminism and equality, does that make sense to simply blame men taking the power? Remember, power is not given, it is taken.

4. Caring About Other People's Opinions

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Whilst being considerate is a great value to have, other people’s opinion shouldn’t affect your professional narrative. It’s all well and good being a team player, but you can’t rely on other people’s reactions to construct your career. Speaking out about that business idea that all your colleagues have said no to could be a turning point in your career, or discussing a situation that is unfair may have your colleagues’ backs up but you have to follow your mind! When you are employed for a company, you are employed to bring a new perspective on the business, and shine a light on new ideas, so if you don’t say anything, why are you even there? Be bold, think for yourself, and though how challenging your ideas may be, express them, because no one remembers someone who doesn’t speak out!

5. Working Lunches

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I feel like such a hypocrite pointing this out, but stop the working lunches every day – yes, you feel like a true working business woman eating that sandwich in front of your laptop, but are you actually any more productive for it? Even if you take a half an hour break, it’s still time for you, where you are refreshing your mind and subconsciously absorbing inspiration before you get your head back down to work. If you don’t stop to admire the world around you, how can you have a clear mind to come up with some bright ideas?

Have you seen any that you’re guilty of? Let us know in the comments, and how you are planning to work on those faults over the next year. Since we’re taking things one step at a time, check out our part two coming soon! May 2019 be a year of self development, happiness and professional success! We hope you’ll all be a step closer to being the ultimate Girlboss by the end of the year!

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By Emma Philo - Editor at She Is Rebel 

 

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