When you are an ambitious woman, like us at She Is Rebel, friendship gains slightly different meaning for us. Our understanding of friendship goes beyond being just Friday night party buddies and a break-up shoulder to cry on; it spurs us on to support our sisters to grow and succeed in life, to help them through their worst and see them shine at their best. At the end, empowering each other is what creates a magic, rather than bitch-fighting, jealousy and undermining.
As much as we love being ourselves within our friend group and supporting them to the bone, we all have our dirty little secrets too – things we wouldn’t necessarily admit to our friends, because you’re worried about offending them. Such as sharing the awesome news on a project you just signed while she is considering to quit her ill-suited job.
Here are the 5 things we would never admit to our friends – apologies to any of mine reading this, the secrets are out!
It’s Friday night, you’ve had a tiring week at work. You were daydreaming of this Friday evening as a cozy date in your pyjamas with Netflix. Till that long-dreaded ping.. Your friend wants a girls’ night out, tonight of all nights! That old pyjama set you have owned since your college years is hardly going to make the sexiest party outfit. Putting your heels and makeup back on seems like a colossal effort. What will be your excuse then? Research for work? Babysitting? Feeling sick-ish? Or do you pretend you’ve already fallen asleep? Admit it, we’re all guilty of being socially lazy!
Your friend’s chatting to you about a really in-depth story about someone she likes, an argument with her boss or a heated family argument, but it sounds familiar. Oh yes, she told you these stories two nights before on a Whatsapp call. It’s a real dilemma, because you don’t want to offend her yet you can literally recite the story off by heart. Sometimes, it’s best to stay quiet and listen and hear her out. If she’s going through a tough time, then you need to be her shoulder to cry on, no matter how many times she’s repeated the story. At the end of the day, this is what friendship is all about - supporting her.
Friends are great source of advice – from a serious office crisis to all kind of silly doubts about if he is the one for you. When you are an ambitious woman following her heart and mind, the probability of running into a conflict with others and making life-changing choices to move is damn high. (well, we are certainly proud of you) But admittedly, if your friends haven’t come up with the response your gut feeling says, you just go with what you wanted to do anyway (#sheisrebel). Sometimes this is good, because we listen to our hearts to minimize the post-regrets. On the other hand, we know being rebel comes with a wide array of emotions. Your friend may actually have rational advice that doesn’t sound plausible to you at that moment, but she simply wants you to steer clear of trouble. Oh well, you just live and you learn, I guess!
I am very guilty of this – I can only remember a certain amount of information. So for some of my friends, even the closest, I have to double-check Facebook to see when their birthdays are. Our lives are fully stuffed with information both digitally and physically. As if physical world wasn’t enough until a decade ago, now I need to scroll all images of my friends, absorb myself into their social media profiles over the weekend to see what they are up to and act completely informed when we meet or speak. But there are days we don’t even know what day of the week it is, so we secretly rely on some digital tools to remind us of our friends’ birthdays. Well, so far is acceptable. But I may confess to pretending I knew it off by heart!
Your pal’s telling her story of quitting her job to someone else. You know all the behind the scenes of the story how nervous she was, all shitty days she went through and your efforts to convince her to actually quit her job since the beginning. Yet, she is slightly twisting the story to frame herself more as a power woman than embracing and sharing her vulnerability in front of others. At the end, quitting her job made her surely reveal the stress and feel more powerful anyway. For the sake of appearing sassy and fierce, you let her tell her bit of gossip with conviction. I mean, you can’t cut in – the story would lose all its exciting drama of ‘I rose from the ashes!’. As long as she feels empowered, you just let her shine and what’s the harm?
Sigh with relief, you don’t feel like such a bad friend, do you? What are you guilty of? Tell us about all your guilty pleasures and sins and we’ll make sure not to spill your secrets!