We’re all guilty of it - we tell ourselves demotivational things why we can’t succeed instead of motivating ourselves how we can succeed, convincing ourselves things won’t change, so it’s not worth the effort. It’s like we almost want things to go wrong just to prove in our twisted minds we were right. But we tend to forget that positive minds attract positive outcomes. And it is not just karma, it is a scientific proof, and Youtube has bunch of those TED talks about how you should change the way your brain thinks by removing all useless false beliefs ‘why you can’t’, instead focus on ‘you can’ and eventually get the result you want.
To help you embrace the powerful art of positive thinking, we have put together a list of de-motivational things you have to stop telling yourself. Instead of giving you ‘what to do’ to get things rolling more positively in your life, we thought showing you ‘what not to do’ would help you spot where you might have been doing wrong. You can then start with changing these.
1. “It’ll Either Be The Make Or Break Of Me”
Nothing can break you – life can disappoint you, throw hurdles at you and make you terribly sad and depressed, but you can’t be broken. You are a Rebel woman – and rebellious women never think of being broken, but focus on how their attitude makes them feel whole each time they come across a problem. Think of any hurdle as a learning curve – whether it has a good or bad result. Use every problem to widen your thinking instead of getting more depressed why it happened to you. More importantly, appreciate that it has happened so that you now know how to deal with it. Your motto should be “you live, you learn”. Think back to a time where you felt “broken”, and then think about this present moment - you made it through. Issues are only and always temporary, even if you don’t necessarily believe they are at that moment when you are going through it. No matter what has happened or what will happen, it will be a learning experience and use your new-found wisdom to manage situations better and smartly.
2. “I’m Not Good Enough”
Saying ‘I’m not good enough’ actually ends things without even starting. If you don’t try to succeed by thinking you are not sufficient, somebody else surely will. If you let your past and bad thoughts define your existence now, it will be impossible for you to become the person you need to be in the future. So there is no point to harass yourself about how you can’t achieve something while you have bunch of other good skills that will help you achieve many other good stuff. Don’t forget that ‘being good for something’ is also a very subjective perspective. What you may be good at one thing according to one person may be not accepted as good according to another person. And it is an endless loop. The best is to listen to your gut feeling and follow what you believe, really! Once you start telling yourself you’re not good enough, it has repercussions too – if you don’t think you’re good enough, how is anyone else going to think so? As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
3. “No One Will Listen”
If you have something to say, just say it. Don’t put off speaking to your boss about how you think you have been treated unfairly, or don’t hesitate to tell your parents about an important moment in your life, just get it off your chest. But if your audience isn’t listening, then they aren’t probably the right people to be listening to you, and it is fine. This shows that you’re spending your time and energy on people who don’t care about you or simply are not the right people who should be helping you. Yes, even when it’s your boss - instead of eroding the ears of someone who just won’t listen, dust yourself on and move on. It is a proof that you aren’t valued enough and that you deserve a better matching company/boss who will value you better.
4. “I Can’t Change Anything”
Change comes to those who embrace it - so if you think you’re not going to change anything, you won’t. Truth is, you only have one life and it is too short for you to let it be run by external factors, that are amplified by 1000 in your mind and preventing you from changing things. No great thing blossoms overnight. Think about your today as yesterday’s consequences. Your actions have delivered you to your today, your now and your life. If you want to change your today, you have to change your beliefs followed by actions. Let’s take a simple example - if you’ve signed up to the gym, do you expect results after one session? No, obviously not. You can only see the result by constantly keeping up with the change you want in your life. Only after 6 months of doing so, you can see the change happening.
5. “They Have A Better Life Than Me”
It’s funny how social media has totally metamorphosed our views on other people’s lives. We think people are living the fancy lifestyle, swigging champagne and going out with their great friends, having a great time, when actually, they could be just as lonely or as down as you are – in fact, they could be thinking the same thing about you. The thing is, social media is merely composed of positive and happy highlights of our lives, and though subconsciously we know that, that thought goes straight out the window when we stalk other people’s profiles. You don’t know their battles as they don’t know yours, so there is no point in comparing your life and your achievements to theirs.
6. “I Give Up”
Throwing your hands in the air and surrendering at the smallest hurdle is weak, but we’re all guilty of doing it. We tend to give up before even giving the situation a chance to progress - studies have proven this: with all fast-consuming Instagram lifestyles around us, we’re getting more impatient and foolishly wanting quick results, and, if not, immediately giving up! Hurdles may come your way, but it’s all for a reason - it will make you a stronger person for your next adventure. (yes, indeed so) Once you gain this mindset, you will be the master of problem solving and living life to the fullest. Because your life is determined not by whether you face obstacles or give up, but by your reaction to them. So, remove the idea of ‘giving up’ from your life, focus on adjusting your reactions when you come across any obstacles. Remember: if you don’t read the book in its entirety, you never know the real story and how it ends, you just have to hang in there no matter how bad it is. This book will finish this way or that way, then there will be surely another one starting. At the end, you will remain with the wisdom of invaluable learnings.
Now that hopefully we’ve pepped talked you out of that demotivational mood of yours, now it’s your turn – what’s the best advice someone has given you? What quote gave you that motivational kick up the ass? Let us know in the comments!
By Emma Philo - Editor at She Is Rebel