Last Friday night I was at a club with my friends. As it happens, girls tend to use the bathroom more often than the boys so I was in the middle of a crowded club bathroom with women waiting in line, others checking themselves in the mirror and some even taking the most popular version of the selfie - the bathroom selfie. While politely waiting for my turn, I couldn't help but looking at the girls doing their thing. And I noticed something. Who do we dress up for? Is it to please the other sex? Is it to please the same sex? Or is it just for ourselves?
I believe there isn't a one size fits all on that matter. We can choose to wear something we really like today or choose something that our girlfriends or boyfriends like tomorrow. For me, I mainly dress for my reflection in the mirror. Mostly because if I think I look good, I tend to act accordingly and it kind of works not just for me but for others too. People can really tell when you feel uncomfortable in your clothes and it's an unforeseen trap when dressing for someone else.
But there was another thought that went through my mind as I was observing these other women that being one myself I should have so much in common with. I nearly felt as an explorer in the wild. Silently investigating the movements and body language of these intriguing women, that I felt (or wanted to feel) like I had nothing in common. They were all so involved with the tiny details like if their dress has moved an inch, or their makeup needed a little tweak, or if their hair is as perfect as it was when they left the saloon. At that moment I thought why or even who are we doing this for? Are we all competing to impress other men and therefore impress other women? Is this all for another person? Are we clinging on to our outside appearance just so others will like us better? Are we staying true to ourselves and our own style by doing that? And that was when I started questioning myself and weather or not I do the same thing for the same reasons?
Partly because I have found a man that loves me in every kinky, quirky, silly outfit I wear, but mostly because I don't like giving that kind of power over myself to other people, be that a man or a woman. I do want other people to think, or better yet, say that I look good. It comes with the pressure we feel from public opinion. But we live in a society obsessed with self promoting and perfecting our image so it's kind of weird not to think about other people's opinions from time to time. No matter how much we try we can never be free of those chains. And that’s OK. I too, from time to time, get cough up in those chains just like when you wear a dozen necklaces and at the end of the day struggle to release your neck from them. It looks fabulous, but it can be quite the struggle. But, with time, I have managed to find a way to sort of loosen them a little after a while and made my life a lot easier.
Recent pools have confirmed that women mainly dress to impress other women. Maybe it's because we secretly know that men don't really care what we wear, most of them care for what we don't. But while we try so hard to impress other women, we lose track of the most important thing. We lose the sense of what we like, therefore lose a part of our own image. And we lose the fun. We all have a special something to offer to the world. Being afraid that you won't impress your Ex's new girlfriend is just holding you back from finding the right place for you and the right style. The thing is clothes are meant to be fun and to help you express your uniqueness. Trying to blend in with others is always a bad idea. Why would you want to look like someone else? Why not looking like the best person in the world - YOU. So instead of focusing on what everyone else thinks, next time you get dressed think about what you think, feel and how you want to feel about yourself and stop trying to live the life according to other people’s rules. If you start to dress solely for your pleasure and mirror reflection it will reflect on others as well. You will have much more confidence and remain true to your own personal style.
The world today offers a variety of options. From bloggers to influencers, you can scour the web in the search of the perfect outfit, but at the end you should rely on your gut instinct. If you think that dress looks good on you then it’s most likely true. The most important thing to rely on is still your own intelligence and follow your feelings. They know what's good for you. Well most of the time. And for when you get it wrong, it's not that big of a deal. We learn by our mistakes even more so than we do by our wins.
ー By Katerina Dimitrioska - Editor at She Is Rebel